


The Weight of Forgiveness

by tymedfire



Series: Knights & Merlin (+ Gwen) [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:11:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tymedfire/pseuds/tymedfire
Summary: Suddenly, her head snapped back and she stared at Merlin with an expression akin to horror. “I tried to kill you.”





	The Weight of Forgiveness

The day after their return from the Cauldron of Arianrod, Arthur and Gwen spent the day to themselves celebrating. Even Merlin was only present to serve meals, which was fine with him since he was absolutely exhausted. Magically changing his form and conjuring a goddess, not to mention falling off a cliff, really took it out of him. He felt like he could sleep for three days and still not be rested. Gaius was even kind enough to not give him work to do during the periods in between meals so that he could sleep.

Now, Merlin was serving the king and queen their dinner. He was pleased to see that they both looked more alive than he’d seen them in weeks. He couldn’t help but smile when he looked at Gwen. He was just as relieved as Arthur to have his best friend back. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her.

He reached forward and filled her goblet with wine, causing her to startle a little. She turned her head to look at him and said, “Oh, thank you, Merlin.” She smiled at him before reaching her hand toward the cup. Merlin grinned at her and accidentally overfilled the goblet. Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin smiled sheepishly and retrieved a cloth to clean up the spilled wine. As he cleaned up the mess, he opened his mouth to shoot a self-deprecating joke at Gwen but stopped when he noticed her face. She was staring at the drops of dark wine rolling down the side of the cup with a blank look on her face.

“Guinevere? Are you alright?” Arthur asked, also noticing his wife’s stare.

Suddenly, her head snapped back and she stared at Merlin with an expression akin to horror. Arthur moved forward to soothe her with his hands but froze when she spoke. “I tried to kill you.” Her hands clapped over her mouth in horror. “Merlin, I almost killed you. Twice.” Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and she pushed her chair back. She stood up and backed away from Merlin as if afraid that she would try again right that moment.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin! I… I almost had you hanged!” She exclaimed hysterically.

Arthur shot a worried look at Merlin and slowly approached his wife, hands held up placatingly. “It’s alright, love. You were enchanted. Merlin is fine, you didn’t hurt him.”

“No!” Gwen rounded on Arthur, almost screaming. “I did! I helped Morgana trick him! We lured him out of the castle and Morgana poisoned him!” She turned back to Merlin, openly crying now. “She knocked you out, poisoned you, then pushed you over the edge of a ravine… and I  _ helped her _ . I helped her almost kill you, and you knew! And I lied to Arthur, told him you were away seeing a girl and you got in trouble, when you were  _ dying _ . You were actually dying, and I… how did you survive that? I’m a murderer, I should be… how are you still alive?” Gwen got quieter and quieter until her last question was barely above a whisper. She had sunk to the ground, her arms wrapped tight around her.

Arthur was looking between his wife and servant in alarm, but Merlin ignored him. Slowly, he walked over to Gwen, sat down, and took her hands in his. “I’m okay, Gwen. I’m fine. Like Arthur said, you were enchanted. It wasn’t you. I know that, we all know that.” He squeezed her hands and she looked at him, tears still streaming down her face.

“How did you survive?”

Merlin gave her a small smile. “That boy Morgana sent to take me out of the castle, Daegal? He came back. He was a good kid. He told me what the poison was and I told him what he needed to do to make the cure. He saved me. I’m alright, I promise.” He pressed his hand to Gwen’s cheek, and she covered his hand with hers.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I did that to you, Merlin. You’re my best friend, I don’t know what I would do if…”

“Hey, hey,” Merlin soothed, pulling her against him in a tight hug which she immediately returned. “It’s okay. I forgive you, Gwen. It’s okay.” He sat there and held her as she cried for a while, hoping against hope that Arthur couldn’t see his own tears.

Slowly, Gwen pulled away, wiping her eyes. She reached out and grabbed Merlin’s hands again. “Thank you. I did all that and you still helped me. You found proof that I wasn’t me and you saved me. Thank you.”

Now Merlin couldn’t hold back his tears and didn’t really care if Arthur saw. It felt so good to have someone acknowledge and thank him for something he’d done. He hadn’t realized just how badly he’d needed that. He gave Gwen a watery smile and nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

After a moment, Arthur came over and helped both of them up and led them back to the table. Merlin made to grab the pitcher of wine, but Arthur stopped him by grabbing his arm. He looked Merlin in the eye and said, “You were limping. When you came back, you were limping.” Merlin could see the guilt swimming in Arthur’s eyes. He knew Arthur well enough to know that the guilt of punishing Merlin unjustly, especially when he had already been through an ordeal, would weigh on him, even if he didn’t say it.  His eyes darted down to Merlin’s leg in obvious command. Merlin nodded and lifted his pants leg high enough for Arthur to see the scar on his leg. Arthur nodded once, definitively, and sat down. Merlin reached for the pitcher again, but Arthur shook his head.

“Sit down, Merlin.”

And if Arthur left some of Merlin’s favorite sweets on the table in his chambers in a silent apology, or sent him to polish armor when he would normally be the knights practice dummy, well, nobody mentioned it. Gwen and Merlin would just smile at each other, more genuinely and often than anybody had seen in months, and continue their day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment things that you want to see between Merlin and another character and I might be able to fit it in, though I can't promise anything.


End file.
